I want to make the right call in my relationship - should I move in with my boyfriend?
Here is the context - I am 22 and a senior in college, although I took a break this semester to make some money. I am going back next fall most likely. My boyfriend is 28 and a successful software engineer, and has a masters in computer science. We've been dating six months and are very in love with one another. We just spent 3 weeks together in Switzerland and Germany where we stayed with his family and I absolutely love them and had an amazing time. He enjoys my family as well and they love him too. He enriches my life in every way, and I can see a very long future with him. He feels strongly about me also and says I take good care of him (I love cooking for him and keeping house :P ). Currently I pay $659 a month in food and housing, which is a pretty great deal, but if I moved in with my boyfriend I would be paying much less probably. He's already paying for his apartment and food so my rent would be based on my ability to give. He mentioned $300 a month. I would also save in transportation costs, driving to and from his apartment, which is about 25 minutes from where I live now. He says it's silly to be spending all that money on food and housing since I spend virtually all of my time at his place, sleeping there every night and eating my meals there. As a student, I also don't have very much stuff, so in general, moving in wouldn't be much of a logistical problem at all. He's been wanting me to move in for a while. Neither of us have ever lived with anyone. I want to know, what sorts of things about our relationship will change if we move in together, and what do I need to consider before doing so? I am also interested in hearing personal stories about how moving in with someone worked out for you. How do I decide what's right for my relationship and for my life? What should I think about?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I would never move in with a guy unless we were married, or had set a date to be married. If you are good enough to live with, you should be good enough to marry. Living together does two things: it makes it harder to break up, and it makes you both less eager to be married because you are already acting like it. When you are ready to make a long term commitment, then you should move in together.
2 :
just move in and see how it go ! you live and learn !!
3 :
Not until a wedding date is planned and is firm. It can be a year from now, but it should not be open ended.
4 :
If I were you, I'd do it. At your own risk though. Some couples I know seemed perfect but when they moved in, all they did was argue. But the way you describe the relationship between you too, I'd probably go for it. I'm only 15, but I know alot for my age. It'd save you money, you'd be with the person you love, and you wouldnt be alone :) Goodluck!
5 :
You should move in with your boyfriend and really get to know each other before getting married and having kids! Once you get married it's almost to late to get to know each other because you will be in full stride if you relationship !Trust me there is a lot that you don't know about each other right now !It's always good to test something before you put it to full use !
6 :
Just make sure that you yourself are financially stable if something in the relationship happens.
7 :
I agree with magic 8-ball. As my mother alway said "See me and Live with me is two different things" Six months is hardly any time to REALLY get to know someone and once you two live together you are in each others personal space. Habits will rear their ugly head perhaps some you don't really like and without a firm mindset and commitment (marriage) it can easily destroy your relationship. Trust me. I'm living it now.
8 :
this is a big decision...things that will change: you will be together all the time without having the option of going back to your place and that will cause fights because you wont have your own spaces anymore your going to have to share.; if theres a fight you gotta stay there because you dont have your own place anymore...if things go south you will have to find another place because that is his place. Your not gonna be as intimate anymore because your together all the time...I honestly would wait a bit longer since youve only been together a couple of months...either that or tell him to find an apartment together so it will be yours as much as his...living together is a big adjustment and the money you save is not going to make it easier.
9 :
At this point there is no good or bad decision,you are in love right now !What ever you decide you and he will have to live with it !One good point is that you are packing light ,i.e. not a lot of stuff!You're young and you should give it a try with a open mind! at less you will be getting to know your boyfriend !So many people put a lot of instances on being married ,but you can ruin it by not knowing your mate ! You really have nothing to lose by trying because you already probably having sex !
