How do I make this step fun and loving?
My fiance and I are extremely happy together and very much in love. Right now we are getting ready for some big life changes - I am graduating from college, he is starting a new job, we will be getting married soon, and will be buying our first home together. We are struggling a little financially because of the economy (lost investments) so money is tight. But I want to do something special. My fiance's new job will require us to live in Germany for about three months during his first year with the company, which also happens to be the first year of our marriage. He feels bad about taking us down a path that will add a huge move and lifestyle change in another country when we already have so much else going on in the near future. I personally think it will be sort of exciting but he continues to feel sort of guilty. My question is, what can I do to show that I am 100% supportive and help him feel better? I thought of maybe trying to get a big basket of German cheeses - I just want to buy or do something romantic and creative in preparation for the time in Germany. Again, money is tight but I have a little saved up secretly for special things like this. Any suggestions? :)
Marriage & Divorce - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
learn to speak German
2 :
It sounds like this move is not going to be too bad for the two of you as you are looking at the bright side of things. You could do the cheese with a german wine, bratwursts with german beer, or even a collage of pictures of the people he will be missing and the ordinary good times the two of you will be missing while over there. Like maybe an evening out at the bar with all your friends.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
what can i do to make our marriage better?
what can i do to make our marriage better?
my husband and I have been married going on 4 years in July. the first couple months, things were great, we barely fought, we spent all our time together, and were in that "honeymoon" stage. after the 2nd or 3rd month, things started going downhill, and have been bad ever since. 4 months after getting married we moved to germany, cause hes military, and in 06 he was deployed. during this time, (1 year) we had our daughter. she is alot of the reason i stay, but also cause i love him. but ever since he started asking me to do that, and i started a friendship with another man, whom i no longer talk to, things have just been bad. we fight about money, what i make for dinner, EVERYTHING!!!! the house is never clean enough. blah blah blah!! he tells me he doesnt want me to work, then turns around and bithces cause i dont have a job, and we never have "play" money. i dont wanna leave so what are some ways i can make things better between us, and help strengthen our marriage? dont be rude!!! thanks 6ofUs. that is a great suggestion. hopefully it will help.
Marriage & Divorce - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Seriously, no one here can help you with that many issues. You need to get into marriage counseling, and quick. In fact, don't even read my response, just make that phone call!
2 :
You did the right thing by ending the friendship with the other man. Things got worse after the friendship because you formed an emotional bond with someone else besides your husband. This closeness only makes the one that you're with appear worse. You should avoid such closeness with other men, and be sure to communicate your feelings to your spouse. Be dedicated to praying about and working on your issues. That's marraiage. It has it's ups and downs, and that's perfectly normal. Let him know how you feel about his contradictions, and come to an agreement. It will work out.
3 :
Wow! You sound like me in the beginning. The only thing hat REALLY worked for us was growing the heck up! My husband had issues that I could not change and I had some that he couldn't change. That is NOT a judgment or an insult it really is the truth. Your husband really needs to grow up and be more compassionate towards you though. I don't know what your issues may be, though none make you deserve being abused (physically, emotionally or verbally). Maybe you should seek marital counseling also.Be strong, continue to LOVE & Good luck!
4 :
Sounds to me like your hubby is bitchy and childish. He wants to have his cake and eat it too....and then complain about the crumbs. :s Perhaps he should be thinking of ways to make your marriage better. If he wasn't willing to put in an adult effort and stop with the crap, I'd pack my bags and leave him to deal with the not-clean-enough house himself. My partner knows this much : if it's cleaned I did it and if it's not clean "enough" for him he can darn well do it himself. Same goes for supper, I cook, he eats. There is no complaint or argument. I don't run a restaurant or an inn. I am not a maid nor a master chef but I do my best and always put my heart in what I do and that should be acknowledged. To strengthen your marriage, grow a back bone and stand up for yourself. Show him that you are not his door mat. Trust me, he'll respect you more for speaking up than if you continue to play the "poor-me" pity card. Good luck.
my husband and I have been married going on 4 years in July. the first couple months, things were great, we barely fought, we spent all our time together, and were in that "honeymoon" stage. after the 2nd or 3rd month, things started going downhill, and have been bad ever since. 4 months after getting married we moved to germany, cause hes military, and in 06 he was deployed. during this time, (1 year) we had our daughter. she is alot of the reason i stay, but also cause i love him. but ever since he started asking me to do that, and i started a friendship with another man, whom i no longer talk to, things have just been bad. we fight about money, what i make for dinner, EVERYTHING!!!! the house is never clean enough. blah blah blah!! he tells me he doesnt want me to work, then turns around and bithces cause i dont have a job, and we never have "play" money. i dont wanna leave so what are some ways i can make things better between us, and help strengthen our marriage? dont be rude!!! thanks 6ofUs. that is a great suggestion. hopefully it will help.
Marriage & Divorce - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Seriously, no one here can help you with that many issues. You need to get into marriage counseling, and quick. In fact, don't even read my response, just make that phone call!
2 :
You did the right thing by ending the friendship with the other man. Things got worse after the friendship because you formed an emotional bond with someone else besides your husband. This closeness only makes the one that you're with appear worse. You should avoid such closeness with other men, and be sure to communicate your feelings to your spouse. Be dedicated to praying about and working on your issues. That's marraiage. It has it's ups and downs, and that's perfectly normal. Let him know how you feel about his contradictions, and come to an agreement. It will work out.
3 :
Wow! You sound like me in the beginning. The only thing hat REALLY worked for us was growing the heck up! My husband had issues that I could not change and I had some that he couldn't change. That is NOT a judgment or an insult it really is the truth. Your husband really needs to grow up and be more compassionate towards you though. I don't know what your issues may be, though none make you deserve being abused (physically, emotionally or verbally). Maybe you should seek marital counseling also.Be strong, continue to LOVE & Good luck!
4 :
Sounds to me like your hubby is bitchy and childish. He wants to have his cake and eat it too....and then complain about the crumbs. :s Perhaps he should be thinking of ways to make your marriage better. If he wasn't willing to put in an adult effort and stop with the crap, I'd pack my bags and leave him to deal with the not-clean-enough house himself. My partner knows this much : if it's cleaned I did it and if it's not clean "enough" for him he can darn well do it himself. Same goes for supper, I cook, he eats. There is no complaint or argument. I don't run a restaurant or an inn. I am not a maid nor a master chef but I do my best and always put my heart in what I do and that should be acknowledged. To strengthen your marriage, grow a back bone and stand up for yourself. Show him that you are not his door mat. Trust me, he'll respect you more for speaking up than if you continue to play the "poor-me" pity card. Good luck.
Saturday, June 7, 2014
If America is truly,"The land of 'TheFree' "Then,why are we so RESTRICTEDas within a growingTotalitarianState?
If America is truly,"The land of 'TheFree' "Then,why are we so RESTRICTEDas within a growingTotalitarianState?
Example: It was not "Hitlers'Germany",at first.The"Night of the 'LongKnives' ",saw to it that it would be.That Socialist StateofGermany was the Creation of over a dozen Politicians;whom Appointed a myriad of Ministerierial 'Legal Entities 'of Affairs('Bureaus of State' to us).Hitler managed to pull a COUP D'etat.In order to make Germany,'His'.'Twas 'Legalitarianism' that killed the Master of the House! In ALL appearances. Are WE(America) falling into that foul sense of mis-guided delusion of Protectionism? Created by Power-hungry,ambitious 'stop-at-nothing,Machiavellian Party-First Politicians?The blind delusion of Prohibition created Al Capone&The Gangs.Plus it gave just the impetus toOrganized crime that it needed to flourish:Big Money. Make Laws,Make Laws,Make Laws!Only to fill 'Law'-yers bank accounts and cement the Power ofBureaus over the Rights of the People as Guaranteed by the CONSTITUTION. Wich does NOT require citizens the necessity of going 'to Court' every timeQuestioned!
Law & Ethics - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Russell...why don't you go and try and move to any other country in the world and see how much freedom you have... good luck
2 :
Restrictions are the result of persons taking advantage of freedoms.
3 :
read Naomi Wolf's ten steps to... something.. i cant remember the name but u are right and i think you will like the article. just google it. I live in canada and i am sick of the USA dictating to me what to do, wear, hear, say etc...
4 :
You use to many big words for me to understand. Go back to bed, wake up and try again. I know I'm being sarcastic but you asked for it. Pay attention to history, don't read only the parts you like.
5 :
You're entirely correct, but you're taking too large a bite at once.
6 :
Americans are now voting for a living. They have lost their ability and willingness to fend for themselves. When the government is all to everyone then freedom is the victim.
7 :
I live in a police state.. aka WI and I have come to see this over the years. There are many freedoms here but I see that only people who are rich or in uniform/or some kind of "authority" get to enjoy it fully. There are so many biased police man and judges that I don't even think that justice and freedom are really guaranteed to everyone here. one ex. I got man handled by a sheriff for wearing a hat in a bowling alley..and he def was abusing his authority and I got a 400 dollar ticket plus court fees. For what? resisting arrest and disorderly conduct?!?! Which was a LIE! These pigs just want to make their quota and they are the problem in some cases, because they make the situation worse than it needs to be. On top of that our legal system is very flawed. Example: Murders getting less prison time than non-violent marijuana offenders! ( state to state the laws very) but, restricting American people is a way to make money and that is what America is all about.. profit. I don't know if this answered you question but I def. see what you are saying.
8 :
We're not RESTRICTED, we are PROTECTED. Right ?
9 :
I agree that we are becoming way too bureaucratic. However, we are not about to become totalitarian overnight. We still have time to change it around so that we can feel free again.
Example: It was not "Hitlers'Germany",at first.The"Night of the 'LongKnives' ",saw to it that it would be.That Socialist StateofGermany was the Creation of over a dozen Politicians;whom Appointed a myriad of Ministerierial 'Legal Entities 'of Affairs('Bureaus of State' to us).Hitler managed to pull a COUP D'etat.In order to make Germany,'His'.'Twas 'Legalitarianism' that killed the Master of the House! In ALL appearances. Are WE(America) falling into that foul sense of mis-guided delusion of Protectionism? Created by Power-hungry,ambitious 'stop-at-nothing,Machiavellian Party-First Politicians?The blind delusion of Prohibition created Al Capone&The Gangs.Plus it gave just the impetus toOrganized crime that it needed to flourish:Big Money. Make Laws,Make Laws,Make Laws!Only to fill 'Law'-yers bank accounts and cement the Power ofBureaus over the Rights of the People as Guaranteed by the CONSTITUTION. Wich does NOT require citizens the necessity of going 'to Court' every timeQuestioned!
Law & Ethics - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Russell...why don't you go and try and move to any other country in the world and see how much freedom you have... good luck
2 :
Restrictions are the result of persons taking advantage of freedoms.
3 :
read Naomi Wolf's ten steps to... something.. i cant remember the name but u are right and i think you will like the article. just google it. I live in canada and i am sick of the USA dictating to me what to do, wear, hear, say etc...
4 :
You use to many big words for me to understand. Go back to bed, wake up and try again. I know I'm being sarcastic but you asked for it. Pay attention to history, don't read only the parts you like.
5 :
You're entirely correct, but you're taking too large a bite at once.
6 :
Americans are now voting for a living. They have lost their ability and willingness to fend for themselves. When the government is all to everyone then freedom is the victim.
7 :
I live in a police state.. aka WI and I have come to see this over the years. There are many freedoms here but I see that only people who are rich or in uniform/or some kind of "authority" get to enjoy it fully. There are so many biased police man and judges that I don't even think that justice and freedom are really guaranteed to everyone here. one ex. I got man handled by a sheriff for wearing a hat in a bowling alley..and he def was abusing his authority and I got a 400 dollar ticket plus court fees. For what? resisting arrest and disorderly conduct?!?! Which was a LIE! These pigs just want to make their quota and they are the problem in some cases, because they make the situation worse than it needs to be. On top of that our legal system is very flawed. Example: Murders getting less prison time than non-violent marijuana offenders! ( state to state the laws very) but, restricting American people is a way to make money and that is what America is all about.. profit. I don't know if this answered you question but I def. see what you are saying.
8 :
We're not RESTRICTED, we are PROTECTED. Right ?
9 :
I agree that we are becoming way too bureaucratic. However, we are not about to become totalitarian overnight. We still have time to change it around so that we can feel free again.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Enlisting into the US Army - paying child support in Germany. How much am I entitled to keep?
Enlisting into the US Army - paying child support in Germany. How much am I entitled to keep?
I am about to enlist into the US army, wanting to serve my country. I have been faithfully paying child support for the past 13 yrs. for my two kids living in Germany with their mother (her and her boyfriend both work). I have since remarried and have two kids with my wife. At the moment I am paying the equivalent to $850 a month and am afraid I will not be making enough the first year or two in order to pay the expected child support in full. E-3 makes roughly $1500. 1.)How much including extras (BAH...) would I be making roughly? 2.)Does the German Government cut some slack if they see you`ve faithfully been paying and still paying as much as is possible for a time period, until I start making more money? 3.)How much are they allowed to take out of my pay? 4.)How much am I entitled to live off of with my family? 5.)What part of my pay/ what amount is untouchable? Hope someone can give good and useful answers to some of my many questions. Thank you in advance and God bless you. Thanks Mustangs - for your help - good answers. Are you talking about German or American courts? Of course I thought of talking to the German courts or "Jugendamt" as they call it there. I know they would generally lower it if your living in Germany and do not earn enough to support your and your family. If after paying child support there is not enough to live off of, is there a place that offers any financial support? Governmental or Military? Thanks again.
Military - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I dont know your exact payment amount but I know it will be nearly half of your pay.
2 :
1. There aren't any "extras". BAH is paid to you if you live off-base and that is only enough to cover your trent and utilities. If you live on base, you don't receive any BAH. You will recieve about $250 in BAS which is food money 2. I highly doubt they will cut you any slack from paying your obligations. You can try going throught he courts to have your payment reduced due to your lower income due to enlistment. 3. They can take as much out of your pay as the court requires. 4. The only part of your pay that is untouchable is your BAH and BAS. They can take any portion of your base pay. You can check out the following website that pertains to Child Support enforcement and military policy and procedures http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/manuals/dss/cse/man/CSEcS-04.htm EDT: I'd definitely go through the German courts. Just take all your documentation that shows your pay so that you can prove what you can afford. I'm not sure about the Army but in the AF is not going to let them take so much that you can't support the family you have now. I would hope that the Army is the same. The AF has a place called the "Airman's Attic" where lower enlisted personnel can go to get free furniture, TV's, children's clothing, house furnishings, kitchenware and any other household neccessities. This helps ease the burden of having to furnish a household. The commissary is CHEAP. We are only a family of 3 but we spend about $300 a month on food and we only spend that much because our son is so darn picky! If you EVER have a finacial crisis, the AF and the Army both have Emergency Relief funds. They give you an intrest free loan for emergencies. You just have to apply for it. It's quick and easy. Remeber your housing is paid (free on-base housing or BAH for off-base), they give you food money (BAS,), you have free medical for your entire family.. You might have a tight budget but you can make it!!
3 :
Talk to JAG
I am about to enlist into the US army, wanting to serve my country. I have been faithfully paying child support for the past 13 yrs. for my two kids living in Germany with their mother (her and her boyfriend both work). I have since remarried and have two kids with my wife. At the moment I am paying the equivalent to $850 a month and am afraid I will not be making enough the first year or two in order to pay the expected child support in full. E-3 makes roughly $1500. 1.)How much including extras (BAH...) would I be making roughly? 2.)Does the German Government cut some slack if they see you`ve faithfully been paying and still paying as much as is possible for a time period, until I start making more money? 3.)How much are they allowed to take out of my pay? 4.)How much am I entitled to live off of with my family? 5.)What part of my pay/ what amount is untouchable? Hope someone can give good and useful answers to some of my many questions. Thank you in advance and God bless you. Thanks Mustangs - for your help - good answers. Are you talking about German or American courts? Of course I thought of talking to the German courts or "Jugendamt" as they call it there. I know they would generally lower it if your living in Germany and do not earn enough to support your and your family. If after paying child support there is not enough to live off of, is there a place that offers any financial support? Governmental or Military? Thanks again.
Military - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I dont know your exact payment amount but I know it will be nearly half of your pay.
2 :
1. There aren't any "extras". BAH is paid to you if you live off-base and that is only enough to cover your trent and utilities. If you live on base, you don't receive any BAH. You will recieve about $250 in BAS which is food money 2. I highly doubt they will cut you any slack from paying your obligations. You can try going throught he courts to have your payment reduced due to your lower income due to enlistment. 3. They can take as much out of your pay as the court requires. 4. The only part of your pay that is untouchable is your BAH and BAS. They can take any portion of your base pay. You can check out the following website that pertains to Child Support enforcement and military policy and procedures http://info.dhhs.state.nc.us/olm/manuals/dss/cse/man/CSEcS-04.htm EDT: I'd definitely go through the German courts. Just take all your documentation that shows your pay so that you can prove what you can afford. I'm not sure about the Army but in the AF is not going to let them take so much that you can't support the family you have now. I would hope that the Army is the same. The AF has a place called the "Airman's Attic" where lower enlisted personnel can go to get free furniture, TV's, children's clothing, house furnishings, kitchenware and any other household neccessities. This helps ease the burden of having to furnish a household. The commissary is CHEAP. We are only a family of 3 but we spend about $300 a month on food and we only spend that much because our son is so darn picky! If you EVER have a finacial crisis, the AF and the Army both have Emergency Relief funds. They give you an intrest free loan for emergencies. You just have to apply for it. It's quick and easy. Remeber your housing is paid (free on-base housing or BAH for off-base), they give you food money (BAS,), you have free medical for your entire family.. You might have a tight budget but you can make it!!
3 :
Talk to JAG
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